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April 1st, 2005
03:52 pm - Can't stop myself from falling.
All I have to say is:
FUCK THE WORLD. FUCK LIFE. FUCK YOU.
I'm sick and tired of this emotional shit.
1. I'm tired of pretending to be happy.
2. I'm tired of trying to please everyone.
3. I hate how you are so fake.
4. I hate how my friends aren't really my friends. You guys don't really know me, and that's partly my fault.
6. I hate how I feel like I'm always being judged.
and just to piss everyone off I'm going to stop my list on numero 6. Life isn't perfect. My list isn't perfect. I FUCKING DON"T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE.
Fuck this shit. Life sucks.
It feels better just FUCKING EVERYTHING!!!
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January 24th, 2005
January 23rd, 2005
06:07 pm
You Are 22 Years Old |
22
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
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January 3rd, 2005
03:46 pm
You are Kip Dynamite. You have an obscene craving
for nachos and can live it up, gangsta style.
Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
i heart chatting with babes all day!
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December 17th, 2004
04:56 pm
one more thing...my horoscopes have been true this year. how weird is that? today they said that i would deal with the topic of my journal entry below.
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04:21 pm
I thought that maybe things would dissolve after i came back from india. They did, but everything dissolved...everything fell apart. I just have to accept that. I've lost some really close friends this year...people change...ive changed and they've changed...it happens. We had some really great times together and i will always cherish those moments. Maybe things will get better or maybe they will stay the same. I don't know. It takes two to form a relationship. It isnt just their fault and it isnt just mine. I don't know when exactly things went wrong; it was just a gradual change. We thought that we'd stay friends so we never made the effort to keep it going. I've really learnt a lot from this experience. Make the best of everything...every moment, every relationship. I am not writing this to hurt anyone's feelings...it is just how i feel about things right now. I believe that everything happens for a reason. (i want you to know that i am not putting an end to this relationship. because i believe that relationships never end. just because ive said that ive lost you doesnt mean that you will stop being someone special for me. You will always be close to my heart.) Things will get better in life. Well, things have gotten better. While all this was happening, I met a lot of great people. I've made some new friends. I've made some friendships stronger. I am not going to just let these go. I will make the best of these relationships. These relationships are important to me. I need friends...everyone does. They are my support and they keep me going. There is one more thing i have to say. Even if your friendship is falling apart or has already fallen apart, don't act akward around these friends...but dont act like everything is ok either. I dont exactly know how to say this. this is very hard for me. I guess what im trying to say just be yourself and dont force anything. Try to keep in touch. I mean you had something in common and you will always have that. writing all this has made me accept the way things are today. well enough of this....I hope everyone has a fantabulous winter break! i hope to see some of you guys over the holidays!
Love Always,
Shilpa
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November 11th, 2004
12:41 pm
oh, yes! i forgot to wish a HAPPY DIWALI!...it's sorta like the indian christmas for those of you who dont know.
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12:15 pm
im soo excited! first of all my birthday is coming up real soon. so i think after i write this im going to make my birthday wish list. BTW, my birthday is on December 22 and im going to be 16...so mark your calendars and get ready to celebrate. i love four day weekends! this morning i went to the mettler for 2:30 hrs...yes i had a long and hard workout but it feels so good. i dont really have much planned for today...except i said i was going to clean my closet...but we'll see...i think i should just relax and take it easy tho...hmmm...ill think about that later. so if anyone wants to hang out during the day just give me a ring. tonight around 9-930 or so im going to go spend the night with one of my friends who is in college...some hard-core partying...maybe ill get a chance to do IT...ill let you know. so anyways...if you guys want to hang out or have an OC party or something just call! love you guys! later.
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November 9th, 2004
06:06 pm
today i was watching oprah and she has totally inspired me to clean my closet. so i think this weekend im going to spend some good time on both cleaning out and updating my wardrobe. they say that you should do it with a friend so anybody who wants to help me just come on over. i'll also help you. yes. it'll also make me feel better about myself and make me feel lighter and happier? wow. the things that oprah can make you do. she really is very inspirational and i really do look up to her. lol. so anyways...today was a boring day...didnt really do much...i had a lot of free time to think about the stuff that's been happening lately...and ive decided that im going to be more positive about things in general...and live my life to the most. im just going to move on and let the things in the past stay in the past and not keep worrying about it. there will always be ups and downs in life and im just not going to worry about the downs. isn't it amazing how many days have past? what im talking about is all those days where you've done nothing. don't understand? ok well ill explain. what i mean is sometimes ive asked myself whether ive lived this day to the fullest...most of the time no...at least during the weekdays...i want to do more things in life than just go to school, come home, do homework, and watch tv for five hours...not really but i think you get the point. i want to get out more. lol. i might sound really depressed but im not. im actually in a really good mood. tomorrow is practically friday and then four day weekend. full week (im hope i make it past this one). then three days of hell. then im off to india for two weeks. can't wait!
Current Mood:  satisfied, relaxed, optimistic
Current Music: John Mayor
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November 2nd, 2004
06:02 pm
Yelllooowcard was incredibly, fantabulously awesome! check Alex's and Emmas LJ for a more detailed experience. my weekend was ok. saturday night i had a dance performance. lynette, beth, and emma came and watched that.after that we went to steak 'n' shake and hung out. on sunday, i went trick or treating with emma and bex for unicef. we got 60 dollars. i didnt have any hw so that was awesome. nothing really happened yesterday. and today is Becca's SEVENTEENTH birthday and voting!
i dont know. why has this year been so stressful? my classes arent hard but still my grades are dropping. ive stopped talking to my parents and when i do we just get into arguments. i guess my emotions are just getting in the way of maybe...EVERYTHING! i feel like im completely out of it . sometimes i feel like im going to cry and i dont know why. why are things so hard? is it because we are changing? im feeling really depressed. i should feel lighter like ive gotten everything off my chest but i dont. WHY? gosh, i feel as if i just wrote something for the dear abby column...or is it dear abby...whatev...too stressed to think about it right now.
things have just fallen apart. i wish things could just go back to the way they were but it's too late now. i wish there was something we could do to make this better,
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shilpa2122's journal